Religious Joke

I was watching Keeping Mum (review to come later), and Mr. Bean was searching onilne for religious jokes, which got me searching for the site “Giggle with God”. Turns out the site doesn’t exist and was probably created for the movie only, though the several jokes posted on that page when I paused are in fact real jokes. So while, I was searching for this site, I ended up searching for religious jokes too and found this really funny one:

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked,”Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Most of the other religious jokes gave a few chuckles, so they weren’t really worth posting.

Random Crap:

Short pya! flood:

(img) 撃ち抜かれたハート – Bullet through the Heart – bullet going through the Ace of hearts in slow motion.
(img) 禁止事項 – Prohibited Items – No Durian! Doesn’t have a fine associated though…
(img) あったかメガネ – Hot Glasses – flame on!
(img) よろしくお願いしますnya – Forgive me please – cute praying cat
(img) キリスト – Christ – do you see Jesus?
(img) wan・・・・? – puppy flower basket
(vid) 食事の邪魔をするnya! – Don’t Disturb Me While I’m Eating – cat pushes dog away when dog tries to take his food
(vid) 棒術使い – Crazy Pinatas – I always thought a game where you give a kid a bat and blindfold them and let them swing crazily was a bit crazy
(img) パンチングマシーンならぬ… – Not a Punching Machine… – I wonder what you’re suppose to do in this game… spank?
(img) ウッシッシ – Totoro Bush
(img) それとなく似てる件について – The case isn’t that it’s similar – don’t really care about the airplane, but the bunny is cute.

Man Says Stripper Delivered a Rob-O-GramA retired salesman alleged a stripper and her friend beat and robbed him in his home. John Skinner, 54, said he was on his way to Bible study on Jan. 23 when exotic dancer Maureen Murphy, 25, knocked on his door and offered him a free strip-o-gram.

Canada’s lost, lonely whale feared killed by boatThe young male whale, which often played with boats in an apparent search for companionship, may have miscalculated the tug’s power and was pulled into the blades, a Department of Oceans and Fisheries biologist said. so sad…

Cat Comforts Grieving Orangutan at Zoo – these articles about different species mingling with each other are coming up WAY TOO OFTEN NOW.

Live action Pacman running around a library (from Deadlock) – I would’ve appreciated this during finals. Then again, I never went to study in the library.

Absence makes the glass glow fondlyWhen either person picks up a glass, red light-emitting diodes glow on their partner’s glass. When one puts a glass to their lips, the other glass glows brightly. Article wasn’t too interesting, but I did start wondering what technology is this based off of. Is there a wifi connection on the glass itself? Would the glass still glow in remote areas or in the middle of nowhere where technology and cell phone signals can’t reach?

A plant that glows when thirstySome people like to talk to their plants. Now, students at Singapore Polytechnic say they have created a plant that can communicate with people — by glowing when it needs water. – Maybe now they can make people glow when they’re being sarcastic, so I don’t have to guess.

Mayor Probed in ‘Speed Trap’ Check CaseCrosby told Morgan that he had to either write another check that didn’t have the words “for speed trap” written in bold letters or face the charges in traffic court. … “As mayor of this city, if I accept that check from that gentleman, I’m admitting we run a speed trap, and that’s a bald-faced lie,” Crosby said Tuesday. Coopertown lies about 20 miles northwest of Nashville on a state highway used by motorists to travel between interstates 24 and 65. The town generates nearly 30 percent of its revenue from traffic tickets.

Tree-climbing robot (from /.) – A remarkable, if slightly creepy, tree-climbing robot is being developed by robotics experts from Carnegie Mellon and several other US Universities. Check out the video.

Considering the aesthetic and psychological effects of your color choices (from MS newsgroup):

One thing I found interesting is what particular colors do for the eyes, how they are received by the parts of our eye and what happens when those messages are sent to the brain. Color plays a large roll in how we react to situations, how we relax, how we are stimulated, and even affects the way we eat and socialize with others.

RED: Did you know that red was one of the first colors a baby can discern, that male babies prefer yellow based reds such as tomato colors. And that female babies prefer blue based reds such as raspberry. The chemical reaction of red while eating will cause a person to eat more, and stay longer. Thus making this an ideal color for restaurant decor or in bars.

ORANGE: This color is associated with low quality or being very accessible. This color is used in both the restaurant and hotel industry to convey low cost to passers by. Wether its a lobby, a roof, or a bill board, it gets our attention and tells us its a bargain. Orange is not what one would use to bring about a feeling of elegance, but of something informal or very casual.

YELLOW: The color yellow is transmitted to the brain faster than any other color, in nature yellow represents caution (hornets, bees, and fire). In our world yellow represents caution in warning signs, construction signs, and fire trucks. Babies will cry more when surrounded by yellow, and studies have shown adults to lose tempers when around yellow. Its a very high anxiety color, but in turn is good for drawing attention, or for packaging products. Yellow flowers in the foyer are said to be great when selling a house, the people remember the house with the beautiful yellow flowers after a long day of home shopping.

BLUE: This is the number one favorite color of people by far, it represents respectability, responsibility, knowledge, caring, and trustworthiness. Country type blues are the number one color in homes, but blue is not a color that sells houses well. Blue is a color that encourages fantasy and at the same time is very tranquilizing. This color is ideal for calming, such as doctors offices and in the rooms of over-active children. Blue is not a color that goes well with eating, if you want to push away from the table sooner (or the in-laws are coming)…..dig out the blue dishes.

GREEN: These are living colors. Green is a great color around food and diminishes sweetness. Green represents wealth and money, makes people feel secure and tended. Some health disorders such as eczema, diarrhea, and stomach upset tend to lessen in a room painted in green.

BROWN: This is a very friendly color, its will represent someone as being believable. Browns work very well in interiors, and its known to be a warm and friendly color.

GREY: Its the only color without an after-image, known as a color representing creativity. Grey is best for a background color and will inspire people to do more for a longer period.

BLACK & WHITE: These are not colors, but are known as the power twins because of the bold statements they make. Black represents dignity, sophistication, refinement, and authority. White represents delicacy, purity, and cleanliness. White also encourages precision in the workplace.

Quadruped humans discovered – interesting news video on how some people walk on all 4 limbs.

2 Replies to “Religious Joke”

  1. > (img) パンチングマシーンならぬ… – Not a Punching Machine… – I wonder what you’re suppose to do in this game… spank?

    It’s called “kancho.” It’s a game they actually play in Japan — one basically folds their hands together leaving their index fingers extended and pressed together, then tries to quickly force them into another person’s behind when the victim isn’t looking. Apparently it’s the Japanese version of a wedgie.

    Seriously. See here: link

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