Random Crap

Humor in church: the rite stuff?Fight truth decay” is a favorite. “Come in for a free faith lift,” is another — two examples of the toe-curling puns plastered across so many notice boards outside British churches. … Among the classics she cited were “Chxxch — Have you guessed what’s missing.UR!” and “God, you’re great!”

The Wisdom of Children (from Digg) – A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table:

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.

No sex please, we’re daddy’s little girlsIt has all the ingredients of a wedding. The proud tuxedo-clad father, the frosted white cake, the limousines and an exchange of vows. But there is no groom and the girl in the long gown is no bride. She’s daddy’s little girl, there to take a vow of chastity.

Best of Car Talk Letters – Response to MIT’s invitation letterGentlemen: Given your recent reading of the college application essay and your ties to that other (lesser) institution in Cambridge, I thought you might enjoy this. Yours sincerely, Stan McGee. MIT certainly has a reputation to be proud of, but its admissions department went a little over-board, I think. The first letter is an honest-to-goodness mailing from MIT, the second is one prospective student’s reply.

IRS Urges E-Filing — But by Vendors Only, PleaseThe IRS recommends that taxpayers file electronically — e-filing saves the government time and money, and is more accurate than IRS employees who type in the data from paper returns. But the IRS refuses to set up its own Web portal to receive the filings. Instead, most Americans have no choice but to e-file through private companies like Intuit (Turbo Tax) and HR Block (Tax Cut). There is something very very wrong with this system. E-Filing should be free if not have an extra discount. I mean, how much man hours are we saving them by having all our tax documents and numbers in digital formats which they can simply import it into their database. But no, instead, they decide to outsource it to other companies which charge a fee to save IRS some time. Sigh…

The Cure for Insomnia (from Tera) – The Cure for Insomnia, directed by John Henry Timmis IV, is officially the world’s longest movie, according to Guinness World Records, as of its release in 1987. Running 5220 minutes (87 hours) in length, the movie has no plot, instead consisting of artist L. D. Groban reading his lengthy poem “A Cure for Insomnia” over the course of three and a half days, spliced with occasional clips from heavy metal and pornographic videos.

pSX emulator (from Angelus) – This emulator fully emulates the Sony Playstation. Compatibility is fairly high, most games I’ve tried work well. An R3000 debugger is contained which may be of interest to people working on translations. Check out the screenshots.

TomTom PLUS services – I get this email a few weeks back saying apparently I can download new voices for my TomTom GO 700 (for a price of course) and they were advertising Mr. T. Check out what he sounds like when giving directions.

popuri.us (from Digg) – A tool to check at-a-glance the link popularity of any site based on its ranking (Google PageRank, Alexa Rank, Technorati etc.), social bookmarks (del.icio.us, etc), subscribers (Bloglines, etc) and more!

How do you prove photography to a blind man?That was the question I was asked: how would you prove to a blind man, that photography exists? A very interesting article.

Couple tie knot in ‘moving’ ceremonyBecause the bride is a snowboard instructor, her guests rode snowboards. The bridegroom is a ski instructor, and his guests were on skis. The Rev. Mike Boucher skied backward to face the crowd, wore a helmet camera during the ceremony and had a ski-mounted lectern that housed a public-address system.

People banned from SNLSaturday Night Live’s producers, especially Lorne Michaels, have famously and dramatically banned for life several celebrities from ever appearing on the television show. Reasons for these bans vary, as sometimes they can be seen as a rational response to a star’s grossly innappropriate on-stage behavior, while at other times the reasons are harder to understand as they stem from far more mild, or even superficial transgressions.

Eddie Griffin Crashes Ferrari Enzo (from Derek) – While practicing for a charity race to promote his new movie Redline, comedian Eddie Griffin crashed a rare $1.5 million Ferrari Enzo. I guess the Undercover Brother never learned how to drive a stick. How many Enzos have crashed? Isn’t there a limited number of them?

2 Chinese Boys Sing Jessica Simpson “A Public Affair” The two Chinese Boys who did Back Str… The two Chinese Boys who did Back Street Boys are ack doing Jessica Simpson’s new single “A Public Affair!” You get to see their roommate in the background, and you wonder how he can stand this. ;p

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