Toilet Paper Usage

WARNING: You may be disgusted by the following post or may be screaming TMI!!! by the end of this post.

So I was reading this blog post the other day: How to Use Toilet Paper and I’ve never realized there were so many different methods to wipe your butt.

Running Out of Toilet Paper

I personally put a new roll of toilet paper on the top of each toilet in case of emergencies. That way I won’t be tempted to use it and when I do run out of toilet paper from the toilet paper roll dispenser, I just swap in the extra roll. Worse case scenario is if I forget to replace the replacement afterwards, I have extra rolls inside the cabinets underneath the sink. It does require further reach though.

Fold vs Crumble

I’ve personally never heard of the “crumble” method until I read this article. I was always taught to use the fold method as a child (I guess it was part of the potty training I received). I was told to only use 4 pieces of toilet paper to conserve toilet paper and not waste it. However, sometimes they’re too thin and I need 5 or 6 sheets to prevent accidentally poking through. I asked my sister and apparently she was taught the crumble method (guess my dad and mom use different methods for wiping), but she’s swapped over to the fold method to conserve toilet paper also. I personally don’t mind actually touching poop. I mean why is it so bad to touch it when you’re satisfied with just wiping your butt without actually washing it. Worse case, just wash your hands thoroughly with soap afterwards.

I agree, if you have a poop-phobia, the crumble method may suit you better.

Front vs Back

Another thing is I’ve always wiped my butt reaching in from the front. It’s just another thing I’ve been taught. I was reading some comments and how people are afraid of actually having poop touch their genitals, but it’s been 25 years and I don’t recall one incidence of that happening. And even if it does, please see the previous paragraph. My problem with reaching from the back is that I actually have to scoot forward and make a hole behind me that’s big enough for me to stick my hands in. Then again, I guess I was just taught to sit back and relax when taking a dump. I still recall the times I would sit in there for hours reading Goosebumps and by the time I realize there’s a big red circle around my bottom (from sitting on the toilet seat too long), the poop around my butt has already hardened and has become painful to wipe.

6 thoughts on “Toilet Paper Usage

  1. What a sh!tty post!

    (rim shot!)

    wtf

    What’s the matter, Hank? I’d give Krunk the 2008 IMBC title on the strength of this one blog entry!

  2. lol
    I just wasn’t prepared to learn so much about Krunk’s defecation habits. Reading his blog day to day it’s like, aw, cute YouTube animation, amusing windshield wiper story, sutff about Rock Band, ooh, new bedroom set and… BAM! A TREATISE ON POOPING!

  3. Actually there are a lot more to the front to back or back to front method. I personally believe in using both methods. When you wipe one direction, you are only smearing your poop. Try wiping one direction, and when you think you are done and clean, try wiping it the opposite direction. You will be in for a surprise. I also personally like to finish off with a wet toilet paper and wipe once more to make sure i get all of that junk out of my area.

    just my 2 cents =P

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