This is actually a happy post as I’ve been reflecting these past few days on a lot of things. I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this up initially as there’s quite a bit of stuff I don’t feel like sharing with the world. In the end I’ve decided to split it into 2 posts. The 2nd post will most likely be password-protected if it ever gets published and is currently titled Krunk is a Jackass.
I can be a very private person, especially around people I’m not familiar with. I generally don’t like talking about myself, and would much rather listen to other people. Then what do I call this blog? Some of the stuff I’ve written up are pretty private. I’ll get to that.
Given that I’m a private person, I tend to keep stuff bubbled inside me. It’s all fine when I’m happy and content, but when I’m stressed or sad, it sort of builds up and I can get really depressed. Usually when that happens, I have 2 main outlets: close friends and my blog.
When I’m really depressed, I usually call up some close friends and grab dinner or something. Sometimes I do talk about my problem, but what I really want is the company. Just being around people who care about me always makes me happier.
The other outlet is my blog. I find that I’m able to talk a lot more about myself on my blog than to people. It helps me reflect and is very relaxing and soothing. By typing everything out, even if no one reads it, it allows me to channel all the pain away.
Something else I find that works for me is watching comedic TV series. I’m not sure if it’s just any funny series or the fact how “How I Met Your Mother” reflects a lot about myself, but whenever I watch it, all my problems seem to melt away.
I notice recently when my mind wanders, either when I’m driving, sitting, or just walking in circles, my mind tends to drift toward embarrassing/depressing moments, and I would end out shouting expletives. For some reason, hearing myself shout the word F*CK, helps calm me down quickly. I usually don’t do it in front of people, but my brother caught me a few times quietly shouting under my breath while I was driving and he thought I made a wrong turn.
Another interesting observation I’ve made is that I tend to lose a lot of weight when I’m stressed. That sort of explains how I got from 170 to 140 in just a few months and why I lost like 5lbs this past week. Of course the exercise helps, but it helps more with maintaining the weight lost.
So a lot has happened in the past week. Besides what I’ve blogged about already, I think I’m finally over my *cough* problem. You know how you know you’ve finally moved on when you’re no longer trying to avoid someone, but can instead hang out with them and chat with them for hours. My brother has helped me put a lot of things into perspective. My brother has also helped instill confidence in myself that I’ve lost long ago. The Krunk in me is finally waking up from hibernation and it’s mostly thanks to my brother. Oh, haaaaaave you met Krunk? Yah, Krunk is a Jackass.