How I Deal With Stress

This is actually a happy post as I’ve been reflecting these past few days on a lot of things. I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this up initially as there’s quite a bit of stuff I don’t feel like sharing with the world. In the end I’ve decided to split it into 2 posts. The 2nd post will most likely be password-protected if it ever gets published and is currently titled Krunk is a Jackass.

I can be a very private person, especially around people I’m not familiar with. I generally don’t like talking about myself, and would much rather listen to other people. Then what do I call this blog? Some of the stuff I’ve written up are pretty private. I’ll get to that.

Given that I’m a private person, I tend to keep stuff bubbled inside me. It’s all fine when I’m happy and content, but when I’m stressed or sad, it sort of builds up and I can get really depressed. Usually when that happens, I have 2 main outlets: close friends and my blog.

When I’m really depressed, I usually call up some close friends and grab dinner or something. Sometimes I do talk about my problem, but what I really want is the company. Just being around people who care about me always makes me happier.

The other outlet is my blog. I find that I’m able to talk a lot more about myself on my blog than to people. It helps me reflect and is very relaxing and soothing. By typing everything out, even if no one reads it, it allows me to channel all the pain away.

Something else I find that works for me is watching comedic TV series. I’m not sure if it’s just any funny series or the fact how “How I Met Your Mother” reflects a lot about myself, but whenever I watch it, all my problems seem to melt away.

I notice recently when my mind wanders, either when I’m driving, sitting, or just walking in circles, my mind tends to drift toward embarrassing/depressing moments, and I would end out shouting expletives. For some reason, hearing myself shout the word F*CK, helps calm me down quickly. I usually don’t do it in front of people, but my brother caught me a few times quietly shouting under my breath while I was driving and he thought I made a wrong turn.

Another interesting observation I’ve made is that I tend to lose a lot of weight when I’m stressed. That sort of explains how I got from 170 to 140 in just a few months and why I lost like 5lbs this past week. Of course the exercise helps, but it helps more with maintaining the weight lost.

So a lot has happened in the past week. Besides what I’ve blogged about already, I think I’m finally over my *cough* problem. You know how you know you’ve finally moved on when you’re no longer trying to avoid someone, but can instead hang out with them and chat with them for hours. My brother has helped me put a lot of things into perspective. My brother has also helped instill confidence in myself that I’ve lost long ago. The Krunk in me is finally waking up from hibernation and it’s mostly thanks to my brother. Oh, haaaaaave you met Krunk? Yah, Krunk is a Jackass.

As Long As I Exercise, I Can Eat Anything I Want

I had a pretty awesome weekend. I finally had a weekend I could relax. ChewyDenise came to Seattle for a workshop, so we got to hang out. I’ll talk about that in a separate blog post.

For the 1st time since college, I’ve dropped below 140lbs. My scale read 139.6lbs this morning. I’m excited and scared at the same time. I appear to stick at a certain weight (within a pound) for most of the week, and then suddenly drop 3lbs overnight. My eating habit has also been changing. I don’t think I’m becoming anorexic, as I still love eating. But I’ve noticed I’m eating less and less these days, not that I ate that much previously. I think I’ve dropped to VonLobster’s level of eating.

With my busy work schedule these past few weeks, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve been skipping out on weight training, but at least I’ve continued with the elliptical. I was surprised I was still able to do 8 pull-ups the other day.

Here’s a picture of me when I first started working at Microsoft (July 2005):

profile picture

I believe I was ~135lbs back then.

I’ve mentioned my motto to several friends before:

As long as I exercise, I can eat anything I want.

The funny thing is the 1st time I mentioned this, my friends “claimed” I said As long as I exercise, I can do anything I want. If I recall correctly, Chad’s response was, “Does that include murder?” Ah, my friends. ;p

So there you have it. My motto. Eating delicious food is one of my favorite things to do and I find it very sad to see people giving up tasty food because of health reasons. The day I’m told I can’t eat this or that anymore, is the day I’ll seriously consider if it’s worth living anymore. I’m not on a diet, but my body (or shrinking stomach) seems to be limiting what I eat. Therefore it makes even more sense to eat more of the good stuff, since I can only eat so much (e.g. cheesecake for dinner instead of the entrĂ©e).

On a somewhat-related topic, Xyon had mentioned that Costco sells mozzarella sticks. Mmmmmm. Unfortunately the last 2 times I went, they’ve been sold out. I did end up buying these vegetable spring rolls which comes with deep fry instructions. Haven’t had a chance to try it yet, but they look tasty from the box. Plus what deep fried food isn’t tasty?

Since we’re on the topic of Costco, there’s 2 things I wanted to also mention. It looks like my Costco is carrying this new product called Santa Cruz Organic Sparkling Lemonade. Being a big fan of lemonade, I just had to give it a try. And it did not disappoint.

Santa Cruz Organic Sparkling Lemonade

Another thing I don’t quite get is dress sock sizes. Costco carries 2 brands of dress socks: Kirkland Signature and Gold Toes. They only have 1 sizing: Shoe Size: 6-12.5 / Sock Size: 10-13. I thought cool, my shoe size of 8 falls into that range, but when I tried it on, it’s a lot bigger than I had expected. The sock feels very loose and if I pull it very tight, the heel of the sock doesn’t align with my heel. Is this normal?