{"id":310,"date":"2006-02-02T02:44:20","date_gmt":"2006-02-02T10:44:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krunk4ever.com\/blog\/?p=310"},"modified":"2006-02-02T03:38:13","modified_gmt":"2006-02-02T11:38:13","slug":"perfect-google","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krunk4ever.com\/blog\/2006\/02\/02\/perfect-google\/","title":{"rendered":"Perfect Google?"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Nine Billion Names Of God<\/a> by Kathy Kachelries (from \/.)<\/p>\n

After three hours, the old man in front of me had worked his way through six beers, in addition to every help desk joke I\u2019d already heard. The cupholder. The any key. The write click. These are the stories people tell, now. These are the fish that got away.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me ask you something,\u201d the man said. I didn\u2019t argue. One of the first tricks I learned about being a bartender is to make them think you\u2019re interested.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you ever created a web site?\u201d<\/p>\n

I shook my head.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot at all? Not even one of those geocities things?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about a blog? Or an ebay About Me page? You didn\u2019t even have an AOL site or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I look like an AOL user to you?\u201d For the record, I don\u2019t think AOL even has access numbers in the valley anymore. \u201cI\u2019m sure I have something, somewhere,\u201d I said, realizing that I was jeopardizing my tips. Besides, I had a distant memory of a single Angelfire page back in middle school.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what Google is?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I said. I was running low on patience.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I mean, do you really know? More than just the site?\u201d<\/p>\n

Reluctantly, I shook my head.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ever meet anyone who worked for them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t. Nobody works for them anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

I shrugged, and took the man\u2019s empty pint. I didn\u2019t offer to refill it.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re self-contained. It\u2019s all automated, in there. It\u2019s underground.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nudged the basket of pretzels in his direction. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you eat something?\u201d I suggested. He shook his head with so much force that I thought he might knock himself off of the stool.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen. Hear me out. You know how Google works,\u201d he said, but didn\u2019t want for a response. \u201cThey cache things, right? Like they send out these spiders and take pictures of everything on the web, so when you\u2019re searching, you\u2019re not even searching the internet.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard that before, but it never made much of a difference to me. \u201cSame thing, though,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou ever wonder why Google doesn\u2019t cache it\u2019s own searches?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey program around it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. That\u2019s what you think. That\u2019s what everyone thinks. But it started back when Google was just a thesis project, back when it was just a drop in the data sea. No one thought to stop it back then. That web site you had, the one you forgot about. Almost everyone\u2019s got one of those, right? But Google doesn\u2019t forget. Google\u2019s studied that thing so many times that it\u2019s studied its own caches of you. What do you figure happens, when a site gets so big that it\u2019s bigger than the internet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s still a part of the internet, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Now, the internet is a part of Google.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man had a point. I nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere\u2019s the thing. Google has memorized who you are. It\u2019s memorized all of us, through those little forgotten bits that we leave behind like breadcrumbs. And what\u2019s more important, it\u2019s memorized it\u2019s own idea of you. Google is omniscient. It\u2019s omniscient and omnipotent. When it cached its cache for the first time, back in 1994, that\u2019s when Google realized what it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gradually, it dawned on me what the man was getting at. \u201cYou think it\u2019s sentient.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s sentient.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled, but it seemed kind of empty. \u201cMe and Google go way back. But what I\u2019m saying is,\u201d he continued, \u201cIt knows us. All of us. It is us.\u201d<\/p>\n

For the first time, the man fell silent. He touched his finger to the bar and began tracing circles in the condensation, apparently lost in thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cThink about that website you created, okay? That website will last forever, do you understand? That website is echoing through cyberspace. It\u2019s one of the nine billion names of God.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Which brings up a funny question I was thinking about. What would Google be like if it was perfect? or what would a perfect search engine be? I bet there’s a bunch theological theories behind this but I’m going to give you a simple mathematical example.<\/p>\n

Let I = the set that contains every website
\nLet G = Google and the set of websites it cached<\/p>\n

Obviously I contains G (Google is a website and part of the internet), but in order for Google to be perfect, G must contain I except itself, meaning Google must cache every website into it’s database besides itself. This will include files, images, programs, etc. Everything. But if I contains G and G contains I, by mathematical deduction, I = G. In other words, a perfect Google or a perfect search engine is equal to the internet.<\/p>\n

Haha. It’s late, most of what I just said probably doesn’t make sense.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Nine Billion Names Of God by Kathy Kachelries (from \/.) After three hours, the old man in front of me had worked his way through six beers, in addition to every help desk joke I\u2019d already heard. The cupholder. The any key. The write click. These are the stories people tell, now. These are … <\/p>\n

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