The MAN Rules (from MS newsgroup)<\/p>\n
Finally, the guys’ side of the story.
\nWe always hear “the rules”
\nFrom the female side.<\/p>\nNow here are the rules from the male side.
\nThese are our rules!
\nPlease note.. these are all numbered “1”
\nON PURPOSE!<\/p>\n1. Men are NOT mind readers.<\/p>\n
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
\nYou’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
\nWe need it up, you need it down.
\nYou don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.<\/p>\n1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
\nLet it be.<\/p>\n1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
\nAnd no, we are never going to think of it that way.<\/p>\n1. Crying is blackmail.<\/p>\n
1. Ask for what you want.
\nLet us be clear on this one:
\nSubtle hints do not work!
\nStrong hints do not work!
\nObvious hints do not work!
\nJust say it!<\/p>\n1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.<\/p>\n
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
\nSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.<\/p>\n1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
\nSee a doctor.<\/p>\n1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
\nIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.<\/p>\n1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.<\/p>\n
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
\nDon’t ask us.<\/p>\n1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one <\/p>\n
1. You can either ask us to do something
\nOr tell us how you want it done.
\nNot both.
\nIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.<\/p>\n1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.<\/p>\n
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.<\/p>\n
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
\nPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.<\/p>\n1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
\nWe do that.<\/p>\n1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.<\/p>\n
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.<\/p>\n
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.<\/p>\n
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.<\/p>\n
1. You have enough clothes.<\/p>\n
1. You have too many shoes.<\/p>\n
1. I am in shape. Round Is a shape!<\/p>\n
Thank you for reading this.
\nYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;<\/p>\nBut did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.<\/p>\n
Pass this to as many men as you can –
\nto give them a laugh.<\/p>\nPass this to as many women as you can –
\nto give them a bigger laugh<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The MAN Rules (from MS newsgroup) Finally, the guys’ side of the story. We always hear “the rules” From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the … <\/p>\n