Massacre in Fable Land

Before reading this, you might want to know ungsunghero was really really drunk.

DISCLAIMER: This conversation in no way depicts how we act in real life. Neither of us has multiple wives nor like beating women. I do have a sword though… hmmmmmm. Decapitating someone does sound extremely fun…

Krunk4Ever: i’m married to 3 woman right now.
ungsunghero: hahaha
Krunk4Ever: one in each village
Krunk4Ever: though i want to get rid of one.
ungsunghero: being a b!tch?
Krunk4Ever: well
Krunk4Ever: just wanted a way to dump one ;p
ungsunghero: kill her
Krunk4Ever: that’s mean
ungsunghero: you’ll get like -60000 alignment
ungsunghero: punch her around
ungsunghero: flirt in front of her
ungsunghero: eventually she’ll hate it
ungsunghero: and leave you
Krunk4Ever: she’ll hate em?
Krunk4Ever: me*
ungsunghero: yes
Krunk4Ever: haha
Krunk4Ever: right now
Krunk4Ever: all i get is
Krunk4Ever: i’m the luckiest girl in the world
ungsunghero: damn
ungsunghero: she must really really like you
ungsunghero: i know
ungsunghero: lower your attractiveness
Krunk4Ever: and i do flirt and do arm pumps in front of her
ungsunghero: raise your scariness, if you can
ungsunghero: are you flirting with her? or other girls?
Krunk4Ever: oh u want me to flirt w/ other girls
Krunk4Ever: well
ungsunghero: yes!
Krunk4Ever: i did that too
ungsunghero: give other girls gifts too
Krunk4Ever: and now all they ask me are for wedding rights
Krunk4Ever: so i dont bother
Krunk4Ever: flirting anymore
ungsunghero: punch her then
Krunk4Ever: haha
Krunk4Ever: that’s mean
ungsunghero: look
ungsunghero: you want her out of your life, right?
ungsunghero: oh i know
ungsunghero: the #1 easiest way to do it is
ungsunghero: sell your house
ungsunghero: w/no house, she won’t stay
Krunk4Ever: i dont think u can sell the house
Krunk4Ever: once u marry
ungsunghero: damn
ungsunghero: i think you’re right
Krunk4Ever: i was looking for tha sign
Krunk4Ever: but it disappeared!
ungsunghero: i know
ungsunghero: can you have her follow you out of town?
Krunk4Ever: what happens then?
Krunk4Ever: take her to a place w/ monsters?
ungsunghero: have her get killed by an enemy
Krunk4Ever: and get her attacked?
ungsunghero: hahahah
ungsunghero: yes!
ungsunghero: dude
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: try it!
Krunk4Ever: interesting…
ungsunghero: worst case scenario…it doesn’t work
Krunk4Ever: when u have the follow me on
Krunk4Ever: does guild seal
Krunk4Ever: take them elsewhere too?
ungsunghero: i believe so
ungsunghero: if not, just walk
Krunk4Ever: i was wondering what happens if she follows meto another city where i have a wife
ungsunghero: catfight!
ungsunghero: man
ungsunghero: you got me thinking
ungsunghero: lady grey once told me, after we were married, that if i even thought about flirting with another woman, she’d cut her head off
ungsunghero: hmmmmmmm
Krunk4Ever: haha
…
Krunk4Ever: i feel bad now
Krunk4Ever: my wife just gave me a chainmail
Krunk4Ever: when i met her
ungsunghero: dude
ungsunghero: at that stage in the game?
ungsunghero: what a crappy gift!
ungsunghero: off with her head!
Krunk4Ever: haha
Krunk4Ever: boo
ungsunghero: no luck?
Krunk4Ever: teleporation didnt work
ungsunghero: what about just walking out?
Krunk4Ever: and i dont feel like walking the whole thing
ungsunghero: go to oakvale
ungsunghero: if you have a wife there, the first city out should have enemies
Krunk4Ever: nope
Krunk4Ever: wont leave the city
ungsunghero: eh
ungsunghero: just shoot her with an arrow, dammit
Krunk4Ever: haha
Krunk4Ever: and run away?
ungsunghero: guild seal
Krunk4Ever: so i decapitated my wife
Krunk4Ever: with an arrow to the head
Krunk4Ever: 2000 secs tho
ungsunghero: 2000 seconds?
Krunk4Ever: or was the the price i have to pay
Krunk4Ever: if the guards catch me
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: just stay away from the town for a real long time
ungsunghero: how much alignment did you “lose”?
Krunk4Ever: actually
Krunk4Ever: i’m still 100% good
Krunk4Ever: and i just gave a wedding ring to another woman
Krunk4Ever: in another town
ungsunghero: haha
Krunk4Ever: bowersstone
ungsunghero: you man slut
Krunk4Ever: and now she wants a house
Krunk4Ever: but i already have a wife already
Krunk4Ever: hmm
ungsunghero: too bad you didn’t marry lady grey
Krunk4Ever: coiuldnt get a man to like me tho
Krunk4Ever: so i could marry him
ungsunghero: i wonder what that says about MY character
Krunk4Ever: couldnt*
Krunk4Ever: so to kill my wife in bowerstone
Krunk4Ever: i’d have to punch her huh?
ungsunghero: hmmm
ungsunghero: i guess you can’t
Krunk4Ever: haha!!!
Krunk4Ever: i got her to divorce me
ungsunghero: by beating her?
Krunk4Ever: i just kept punch her
Krunk4Ever: yah
ungsunghero: then what happened?
ungsunghero: does she actually say anything?
Krunk4Ever: so i find out my wife can take a beating
Krunk4Ever: i think i’ve thrown 30+ punches and kicks
Krunk4Ever: even when she fainted
Krunk4Ever: she starts yelling and stuff
Krunk4Ever: and says
Krunk4Ever: what are u doing?
Krunk4Ever: stop this imemdiately
Krunk4Ever: and then the screen shows that she divorces me
Krunk4Ever: and now is renting my apartment
ungsunghero: haha
ungsunghero: i gotta try that
Krunk4Ever: i lost a block of good alignment tho
ungsunghero: wow
ungsunghero: oh well
ungsunghero: i’m not saving
ungsunghero: so i don’t care
Krunk4Ever: hehe
Krunk4Ever: so u do get ur hosue back
Krunk4Ever: if u kill ur wife ;p
ungsunghero: dude
ungsunghero: i can’t kill lady grey
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: and all the guards are on me
ungsunghero: but she keeps saying “i’ll divorce you!”
Krunk4Ever: well
ungsunghero: and my other wife died after like 5 punches
Krunk4Ever: wow
Krunk4Ever: i guess my wife could take a beatingthen
ungsunghero: bwhhahahahaa
ungsunghero: stupid guards
ungsunghero: they were trying to shoot me
ungsunghero: and they killed lady grey
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: so at any time did the ring icon disappear from your wife’s head?
Krunk4Ever: yeah
Krunk4Ever: when she divorced me
ungsunghero: damn
ungsunghero: i can’t even get that
Krunk4Ever: and beat her in the private of ur own home
Krunk4Ever: where no one else can see u
Krunk4Ever: cause no guards were on me ;p
ungsunghero: i did that
ungsunghero: and she died!
Krunk4Ever: i c
ungsunghero: hmmm
ungsunghero: since i didn’t kill lady grey
ungsunghero: apparently i only get assault
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: this game is not very well written
ungsunghero: do they realize that their mayor is dead???
Krunk4Ever: haha
Krunk4Ever: im the mayor
Krunk4Ever: so they dont really care ;p
ungsunghero: lucky you
ungsunghero: i’m reloading
ungsunghero: time to try again
ungsunghero: maybe i should start a barfight
ungsunghero: notice how quickly the demeanor of your wife changes with one punch
Krunk4Ever: hmmm
Krunk4Ever: i did realize
Krunk4Ever: i did nt give her a chanceto speak
Krunk4Ever: i was trying to kill her
Krunk4Ever: didnt* realize
ungsunghero: oh oh
ungsunghero: after like 3 punches
ungsunghero: now i got her pissed
Krunk4Ever: hehe
ungsunghero: lol
ungsunghero: she just said “i can run off with the innkeeper”
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: dude
ungsunghero: she won’t divorce me
ungsunghero: i killed her again!
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: that’s it
ungsunghero: i’m hacking away at the bar
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: oh my
ungsunghero: apparently it’s 2000 gold per guard you kill
ungsunghero: and i’m killing them with one stab
Krunk4Ever: it’s 2000 gold
Krunk4Ever: per person u kill
Krunk4Ever: not just a guard
ungsunghero: oh
Krunk4Ever: well
ungsunghero: haha
Krunk4Ever: my wife cost 2000
Krunk4Ever: though im pretty sure it’s per kill
ungsunghero: and i have a life augmentation on my sword
ungsunghero: so any damage they inflict on me
ungsunghero: i heal pretty quickly 😛
Krunk4Ever: hehe
ungsunghero: the guards don’t stop, do they?
Krunk4Ever: um..
Krunk4Ever: i guess they will
Krunk4Ever: if u kill all of them right
ungsunghero: nope
ungsunghero: they keep spawning
Krunk4Ever: interesting
Krunk4Ever: what i want to know
Krunk4Ever: is what happens if u kill the innkeeper
Krunk4Ever: or the blacksmith
Krunk4Ever: do they regenerate?
ungsunghero: nope
Krunk4Ever: the next time u come into town?
ungsunghero: oh
ungsunghero: maybe
ungsunghero: not that i’ll ever be allowed back 😛
Krunk4Ever: just wait 3 mins
Krunk4Ever: ;p
ungsunghero: interesting
Krunk4Ever: and no one will remember a thing
ungsunghero: as you kill civs
ungsunghero: you can buy buildings
Krunk4Ever: really?
Krunk4Ever: wow
ungsunghero: i just bought the bar
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: the weird thing is
ungsunghero: i killed everyone
ungsunghero: why should i have to buy it?
Krunk4Ever: can u kill those game ppl
ungsunghero: yeah
…
ungsunghero: and at the rate i’m going
ungsunghero: i’m buying the whole town
ungsunghero: booooooo
ungsunghero: the shopowner hid all his goods!
…
ungsunghero: time to cause trouble at bowerstone
Krunk4Ever: haha
Krunk4Ever: south or north?
ungsunghero: damn
ungsunghero: not sure how to kill the guards w/o a sword
Krunk4Ever: they locked u out?
Krunk4Ever: ah
Krunk4Ever: punches.
ungsunghero: lol
Krunk4Ever: the wife that i couldnt kill
Krunk4Ever: was in bowerstone south
ungsunghero: she asked for a surprise gift
ungsunghero: i gave her one
Krunk4Ever: who’s she?
Krunk4Ever: ur wife?
ungsunghero: lady grey in this case
Krunk4Ever: i thought she died…
ungsunghero: i reloaded
Krunk4Ever: ah i c
ungsunghero: finally
ungsunghero: i got divorced
ungsunghero: now to kill her
Krunk4Ever: haha
ungsunghero: wow she can take a beating
Krunk4Ever: she’s probabl an important npc
ungsunghero: but she got killed before
ungsunghero: albeit not by me
Krunk4Ever: hehe
ungsunghero: lol
ungsunghero: the only way to kill her is to have a guard do it
ungsunghero: or hire an NPC
Krunk4Ever: ha
Krunk4Ever: ah*
ungsunghero: wth
ungsunghero: you can kill someone
ungsunghero: pay the filne
ungsunghero: fine*
ungsunghero: get tossed from the city
ungsunghero: and come right back in???
Krunk4Ever: yah
Krunk4Ever: u payed the fine already
ungsunghero: that’s freaking funny
ungsunghero: lol
ungsunghero: no cutscene when you marry a guy
Krunk4Ever: hahahahaha
ungsunghero: you can bet what i’m trying to do next
Krunk4Ever: not too sure
Krunk4Ever: kill the people in the guild?
ungsunghero: marriage…
ungsunghero: house…
ungsunghero: bed…?
Krunk4Ever: hahahaha
ungsunghero: OMG
ungsunghero: it works!
Krunk4Ever: does he go YES! YES!
ungsunghero: lol!!!
ungsunghero: “that’s quite nice!”
ungsunghero: “oh gosh!”
Krunk4Ever: hahaha
ungsunghero: and then he finishes with “i can see why you’re a hero!”
ungsunghero: bwhahahahaha
Krunk4Ever: “i’d think a hero would’ve had a bigger *beep*”
ungsunghero: nah
ungsunghero: no insults here
Krunk4Ever: awww
ungsunghero: all compliments